|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Today's Feature Article |
|
5 Under 6 Tips, tricks, and tales from the trenches... May 19, 2010 By Andrea Evans
As a mother, there is an
underlying pressure of “perfection.” This pursuit of perfection
doesn’t necessarily apply to ourselves, rather in the way that our
children are perceived and received. I have found this pressure
has grown as my children have aged and become walking, talking,
independent little individuals. Back several years ago, my biggest
worry was whether or not our son, a known biting villain, would attack
anyone outside his immediate family. This grew into fears of
whether or not he would be successfully potty trained, without having to
drain and sterilize the local country club pool (thankfully, this was
one reality that I did not have to face.) Now, as he faces
entering into first grade, the worries are constantly changing and
growing: will he be accepted, will he be successful academically,
and will he find happiness with friends. All of these new worries
however, are largely out of my control. Of course, I, as we all
do, have a hand in the academic success of our children, so much so in
fact, many of us put expectations on them, that we have never even put
on ourselves. The social pressures that our children encounter
become greater and more involved by the year. While once we were
merely worried about them inflicting physical harm on another child, we
are now worried about them being accepted, liked, and most importantly
kind to those around them. This responsibility is so daunting for
me, that I am constantly placing unrealistic expectations on myself as
his mother. Of course, my son has no idea how much time I spend
worrying, planning, and preparing him and myself for this gradual, but
very important, path into real life. Whether attending a
parent-teacher conference, or watching him play in a sporting event,
that real-life pressure is there. I want perfection, for him. I have figured, out over
time, that this unrealistic pursuit of perfection is simply a way of
trying to control the uncertainty of a completely uncontrollable
eventuality. The reality of all this is overwhelming. But,
once faced with the fact that this is a battle I will never win, and
when I began to have a little faith in the work that I have done, it
became quite freeing. Of course, there’s still the part of me that
wants to jump in and kick that soccer ball, or do that work, or read
that word he doesn’t quite know, but I don’t. I know that he, at
only 6, has a long life ahead of him, of triumphs, and disappointments.
The sooner that I let go of trying to control this need to protect him,
and drop my pursuit of perfection, the better off we will both be.
|
||
